That's what I like

The song with my favourite lyrics ever turns out to be cowritten by Sam Shepard, which of course does not make it any better, but does sort of up the interest factor in Shepard for me. I've only read the occasional New Yorker story by him--does anyone want to recommend what play to start with?

Sunshine on tulips! The ones on my dining-room table look like this and are absolutely splendid.

The weather this week! Yesterday was perfect wandering around weather and I hope that's what you did. And now, we don't have to panic, because the rest of the week will be nice, too. But then next weekend, it's supposed to be 5 or 6 degrees and snowy, which makes no sense. But we have five glorious days until then.

Taco King at Danforth and Donlands. I'm linking to a largely negative post because it's all I can find--but most of those people didn't eat there, just looked at the pictures through the window. I think it's great--cheap fast Mexican food that does not come out of a box, bag, or tube (ie., no cheese of the whiz variety). After a lovely delivery experience (embarrassingly, me and my dining companion ordered so much they gave us three forks--we thought at those prices the portions would be small but they weren't) I went on Saturday to see the establishment. They grill the chicken in front of you and apparently the tortillas are homemade, and everything's a wicked good deal. Let's not let prejudice taint a good thing--just because the owners and some of the staff are Asian, doesn't mean they haven't learned to do Mexican food extremely well! I'm scared it will close because so many restaurants in that area do, and I'll be back to Moe's Southwestern, which is actually good too, but I'd rather have local indy than big American chain if I can.

RR

Things I Like Today

1) Spencer Gordon's short story Transcript: Appeal of the Sentence on Joyland (although I did actually like it even more when he read it at Pivot at the Press Club readings--this story should be a podcast!)

2) The lovely new home of Kerry Clare's book site/blog, Pickle Me This, as designed by the crack team at Create Me This.

3) When you are standing looking up into the sky (you need a patch of sky free of buildings or bits of trees, so that all you see is sky) and it is snowing staight down and after you stare up for a while, you lose perspective and begin to feel that the snowflakes are standing still in the air, and you are travelling upwards into the sky. The snow today has been particularly good for that, if you wanna try it.

RR

In case you were wondering...

Sometimes I start off on things, and never let you know how they worked out. Probably, you don't care, but for the sake of completeness--

1) I now mouse exclusively with my left hand on desktop computers (ie., all day). On laptops (ie., at night and on weekends) I occasionally succumb to the lure of the central touchpad with my right hand, but the (fuzzy heartshaped) mouse is placed to the left of the computer. I consider Alzheimer's officially postphoned...for now.

2) I consider January's "writing in the morning"s a failure, but not a dismal one. I *did* sometimes write in the mornings, not every day and never for very long, but as it would otherwise have been time spent asleep, I'm counting this one as a win. But I'm also pushing it forward as a February resolution.

3) My *new* resolution for February will be to limit my cereal consumption to two bowls per day. This will be difficult--I really like cereal.

4) Remember when I was teaching last year and obsessed with my teenaged students? We about to start all that again, as through the graces of the SWAT/Now Hear This program, I have been named writer-in-residence at Jean Vanier high school in Scarborough. If you went to Vanier, know someone who did, taught there, attended an OFSA badminton championship there, anything at all--I want to hear about it. For though I am very excited about this new adventure, I am also very nervous.

5) So the ground hog says, six more weeks of winter (warning: disturbing groundhog-nuzzling picture at that link). I should be sad, but I seem to have pulled out of my seasonal-affective funk from early January. Now I’m just really grateful that it’s been so dry and nothing is slippery underfoot. If that keeps up…well, I guess it can stay cold. If, you know, the rodent says it has to.

6) Remember when I wrote short stories? Well, I actually still do that, I just haven’t mentioned it in a while. Forthcoming RR publications included “How to Keep Your Day Job” in the summer issue of Room Magazine, “Sweet” in the summer issue of Canadian Notes and Queries and “Far from Downtown” in The New Quarterly. It goes without saying, but I’ll say it anyway, that I’m just thrilled to be working with such amazing mags, and very looking forward to seeing my work inside them.

There, now I think you’re just about up to date…
RR

Rose-coloured Reviews The Weather Indoors

Thanks to all that provided such kind and useful advice on my indoor-weather predicament. I have to point out that, while I do doubt that my building-provided thermometer is accurate, it does say that the Rose-coloured Ranch is only a degree or two lower than the legal minimum of 21 C, and for a mysterious shining moment when I was not there but the building manager was, actually above it.

I'm pretty sure it's colder than that--I am not *such* a whiner. But reading the stories in the comments section and hearing them from other friends reminds me that I am *kind of* a whiner. My apartment has never been 12 C by any thermometer, I have never been able to see my breath inside, and all my plants are still living. I should count my blessings. So I appreciate both the advice about ovens, showers, and thermometers (which I'll likely use) and the reminder to buck up.

That said, it *does* seem a little more pleasant at my place now. This could be a morale issue, as I spent a delightful weekend abroad, but I do think it's warmer. Last night, when I returned home, if I happened to put a foot on the floor with only a sock on (my slippers sometimes fall off) it is not so terribly distressing. Mind you, I still slept rolled like a taquito in a fleece blanket (you wrap yourself standing up, then inch-worm under the normal covers) clutching a teddy bear whose floral-sachet heart can be heated in the microwave for warmth and aroma therapy. But having done all those things, I was quite warm and comfortable.

Perhaps I will be able to move on from this chilly period in my life and I actually post about a book soon. Just in case, I think I'll bake a cake tonight and leave the oven on a little extra.

RR

Better

The promised improvement report: I am feeling a good bit better about the world today, owing in large part to have found somewhere else to sleep last night where I didn't have to wear a hood to bed. This is not a permanent solution, I know, but I'll work on one of those next week. It may involve an oil drum; stay tuned.

In keeping with my theme of devastating literature, yesterday I read Joyce Carol Oates's Where are you going, where have you been? and may never get over it. What she achieves in this story is amazingly harrowing, and then you pull out of the story and feel like you've gone so far from reality, but really you haven't at all. Bizarre, amazing, and not for the timid--you were warned.

Warmly,
RR

Everything is terrible

Examples of everything:

--Building manager's inspection of my apartment finds that it is not illegally cold. But last night, before bed, teeth were chattering! Mine! Indoors! That should be illegal.
--This morning, my bus rear-ended another bus.
--A tiny but important little bit'o'code on my computer was devoured in the night. Now I can do everything but the thing I need to do right now. (note: this was fixed almost immediately after I wrote about it by a kind colleague, but that's not the point. The point is what is the universe's *deal* that it would do that to me?)
--Hot Friday night plans: avalanche of tax forms.

Although everything is, in fact, terrible, that expression is not mine. There is actually a website called Everything Is Terrible (you should have known) filled with alarming/sad/hilarious found footage. I've only seen the cat massage video, which I think has been doctored to make it even more disturbing than it was originally (ie., very) but it's an interesting concept.

I'm just gonna put my head down for a little bit now. Oh, no, wait, I'm going to do this mountain of work.

RR

PS--I will try to post something rose-coloured on the weekend. As soon as this migraine receeds a little.

Another week

And another week's end round-up:

Michael Turner answers 12 or 20. Mr. Turner is an important author for me (although really also for Canada) for various reasons, not least his was one of the first literary readings I ever saw, and at said reading, the very first pornographic film I ever saw.

The Literary Type has a hilarious post about The New Quarterly's adventures at Word on the Street. My favourite part is when Melissa worries she'll have to live in the parking garage. Oh, I love those guys!!

My matching quote game was met with near-resounding silence (thanks for trying, AMT) but here are the answers anyway: 4 a), 3 b), 2 c), 1 d), 5 e).

The Writers' Trust announced their shortlists on Wednesday, including the Journey Prize shortlist, announced by Camilla Gibb and me.

It got really cold in Toronto and I hate it. I am also encountering some sort of wardrobe malfunction wherein all my clothes disintegrate (within the privacy of own home, mind) so I have to cobble together outfits that don't make sense just for frostbite prevention. I will shop tonight, I swear it,

Behaved very badly in the arms of a boy
RR

Eden Mills, with new lighting

Ok, enough with adorable kittens--back to literature!

August asks, "How was Eden Mills?" and Rebecca responds--perfect!

It was no last year at Eden Mills, both better (because there wasn't a downpour) and less thrilling (because it wasn't the first day I ever saw my book); overall it was just a wonderful days of sitting in the sunshine, listening to great readings and eating muffins.

It would take threat of violence to get me to pick a favourite reading, but among the very very good were Andew Hood, Saleema Nawaz! Zoe Whittall! Sonnet L'abbe! Julie Wilson! And the man himself, Leon Rooke! See those last two below, revelling in their spellbinding stories (Julie tells me there is a mink or similar creature on the bank of the Erasmosa in this picture of her, but I can't honestly make it out).






Oh, it was a great day, so good to see so many friendly faces and good books. And then it was very good to come quietly back to the city and go to sleep.

They'll keep an eye on you son
RR

Variousky

1) In case you were in suspense following yesterday's panic post, the reading last night went fine, the other readers were fab, as were the friends and food (all-day breakfast very soothing when in a state of freak-out, I discovered). My big fear in reading an unpublished and thus unfixed story is that I would try to fiddle with it, ie., edit, while onstage, and render myself incoherent. But I managed to contain myself, stick to the script and read a half of a brand-new story--yay!! And I think it went well, as confirmed by several persons who are, ok, my friends and brother, but are also honest enough to be trusted.

2) How can we be 20 days into the month and me just reporting to you on That Shakespearian Rag's 31 Days of Short Stories program. It's a good, occasionally critical, introduction to a wide range of stories, and also just great to see stories get this much attention.

3) More on stories: last fall, Nigel Beale did an audio interview with me about what makes a good short story. The interview touched on a lot of points from Flannery O'Connor's views on stories, good company to be in, and riff off. Nigel then did a couple more interviews in similar formats, with Nam Le and Anne Enright, also extremely good company, Highlights from all three are now available in text form in Cha, an Asian literary journal.

4) While I was writing this post, the sky turned black, the wind began to rip leaves from the tree outside my window, thunder rattled and the sky downpoured. An outstanding show--I hope you weren't outside.

There's man holding a megaphone / it must have been the voice of gad
RR

Web presence

My audiobook debut edges ever closer--Rattling Books has made me an author page for my contribution to Earlit Shorts 4. And now I know that my partners in audio shorts are Chris Benjamin, Michael Collins, J.J. Steinfeld and Leslie Vryenhoek. I'm stoked!

In other news:

1. I had a lovely weekend and was only outside during the sunny parts.
2. I'm starting to be ok holding babies, although only if a) the parents are present and b) the baby is awesome.
3. Ontario strawberries!!!
4. I'm the least-efficient writer ever.
5. This week has a holiday in the middle of it!
6. Yay, everything (except #4)!

And the girl at the top wearing tulle
RR

Toronto Heartskip

Oh, spring--you amaze me every time!

There's hills ahead
RR

Rose-coloured Reviews Yesterday's Weather

Saturday February 28, 2009, dawned a bit watery, but the dawn did come before 7 am (only the third day of the year that we got light before 7!) and by the time sun was fully in the sky, the flimsy cloud cover had delicately burnt off or blown away, leaving us with a ravishing yellow and blue to breakfast by. In the warm indoors near a southern exposure window, it was easy to feel that the day was in fact balmy, and this mis-appris was aided by the actual warm weather of last week, which melted the snowbanks and even the black piles of black toxic sludge that were underneath. So the sidewalks were bare and clean and springlike, although of course the naked treebranches waving in the brisk winter wind were a bit of a giveaway, even from the southern exposure.

Outside it was in the low-negative-teens all morning and that brisk wind made for some brisk walking. But those clean sidewalks were a joy to walk briskly upon, and the sun made for good morale. It was just important to stay out of cavernous black building shadows; for perhaps the first time this year, it felt that the sun was close and strong enough to make a difference in warmth. Or, yes, it could've been just a morale issue.

The day stayed bright and lovely clear and even warmed into the negative aughts into the afternoon, and then sunset was a sweet distant pink with the occasional cotton-snag cloud for texture. Without the sun, it felt much colder, though in truth it wasn't a significant slide in temperature and the wind had in fact dropped a bit. In truth, it could've been some poor wardrobe choices on the part of the reviewer: it was not a night for a short-sleeved sweater under one's coat, no matter how fetching the deep-burgundy wool.

As lovely as the sidewalks were for walking, so were the highways for driving, and there is not better a better time to view the steel mills of Hamilton in full flame than in a navy night with lights and stars and fires reflecting on the flat of Lake Ontario. Weather in Hamilton did not seem to vary from the above Toronto description, although perhaps with a touch more lake breeze. The chill made it all the more pleasurable to burst indoors and be greeted affectionately. It was a night for warm hugs, torrid embraces, shoulder-rubbing, football huddles, or whatever form of shared warmth suits your fancy. Also for spicy sauces and soup and tea-based beverages, perching on radiators and draping things across shoulders.

And for bursting back outside hours later, to a sky so clear stars could be seen even from beneath the parking lot sodium-glare lights.

It's a perfect day
RR

The guardian of gates and hallways

Obviously, it's better if your life just doesn't suck at all, but that can be a tall order in January (if you've got it down, and it's not "move south," I want to hear your solutions). Sooner or later, spring will arrive and/or we'll all have to address the actual issues in our lives. Meantime, though, here are some pennyante stop-gap solutions--

--Leave the house. You might well have a good time (Pivot of the last post was even more awesome than expected, as was the birthday dinner and both [gah]) movies I saw this week). Even if you don't, you get the smugness of saying to people, "It's minus *twenty*, but y'know, it's not *that* bad." Makes you feel tough.
--Go to the movies. Nothing like other people's problems to make you forget your own. Even (especially?) if their problems are stupid.
--Do the thing you've been trying to get out of. Misery has economies of scale, I find. It's far easier to agree to do something unfun on a day I already hate--I guess I figure things probably can't get worse, and someone might as well get what they want. Occasionally, this will bloom into getting thanked profusely, which is nice, but don't count on it; it is January.
--Learn something new: I thought the term "Janus" was a fancy way of calling someone a liar, 'cause he's the two-faced Roman god, but it turns out that he's two-faced because he's looking both forwards and back. Janus is the god of hallways and doors and gates, portals and new beginnings. Which his namesake month, January, allegedly is. We'll see.
--Whatever you do, don't wear two pairs of tights of profoundly different waist-levels--the higher one will somehow push the lower one down (and down and down), and you will spend the entire day trying to reach unobtrusively under your skirt to recalibrate things. This final point, which I am currently living out, will probably discourage anyone from taking any of my other advice. So be it.

Your English is good
RR

Woes

Woes are not what Rose-coloured is about, so I'll spare you (no, I won't: my eyelashes froze this morning; inadequate communication; excessive communication; I saw someone on the subway reading a blank duotang for 13 stops). *Anyway,* all will be mitigated when I go to Pivot at the Press Club tonight and see Kyle Buckley, Rocco de Giamcomo and Jessica Westhead be awesome.

Right? Right.

I guess I changed my mind
RR

Siege mentality

I am definitely the first to complain about ice and snow (to the extent that I am actually banned from complaining about heat and humidity in summer, having used up all my complaint-credits in the first half of the year). Yet there is something a little exciting about blizzards. Not when you are out in the trying to do something or go somewhere or not get hit by a skidding car, but sometimes when you are just building a fort or rolling down a hill, it's nice to be constantly coated in snow. And sometimes not.

Also cool is the sort of siege mentality of being indoors when the earth is going haywire beyond the windowpanes. I feel a little scared to go out, but very much appreciative of being in. How silly, I guess, but it is a fun white-out world out there, as seen from in here.

Maybe I wouldn't say that if I weren't beseiged in here with such deep supplies of gingersnaps and truffles.

Man, you're in love
RR

Good List

1) Apple bread from Cobbs.
2) Pretty sparkly snowfall before you're sick of it (give me another two weeks).
3) Not getting hit by a car (so far), on this, the worst driving day of the year.
4) Brilliant Kerry Clare takes her Passion for Reading to Ottawa (this is more good for the citizens of Ottawa than me, since I can't go; lucky citizens!!).
5) Coming Attractions 08 now in select bookstores, with a bestiary on the front, and stories by Daniel Griffin, Alice Petersen and myself. A gorgeous little book!

Another place that's really swish
RR

Sundayness

Well, it's mid-afternoon and I haven't gotten permanently dressed yet (you know, you put on your sweats to go to the gym/post office/grocery store, but that doesn't really count as clothing, plus you have to start all over again once you shower) but at least my book got a lovely review in the Toronto Star. That makes me feel a little bit better about everything, including the fact that as soon as my hair dries from the shower, I have to go out in the rain.

I know that you don't wanna hear it / especially from someone so young
RR

Warnings

1) If you are taking a bubble bath, do *not* put your head under if you are easily upset by loud noises. Upon re-emerging, your ears will be filled with bubbles that will pop, creating the sound of a forest fire burning a path directly to your brain. Very upsetting.
2) $13 is enough to pay a hair-dresser to obtain a tidy, competent haircut, but it is NOT enough to pay a hair-dresser to try to dissaude you from your own bad ideas. If you say anxiously, "Do you think that would work for me?" a salon-type will say, "Sweetie, maybe you need to rethink this," but a barber-shop type will say, "Please sit back in the chair."
3) The air tastes like fall.

I think it's coming and it comes so fast
RR

Creative Endeavours

I don't really mind heat, even on the extreme side--I have a lowish body temperature, and sort of even like an occasional scorching day. Some do, some don't, with heat--but does anybody really like humidity? Other than making my skin look really good, I don't know what there is to like about maple-syrup textured air. If you have pro-humidity theorems, I'd love to hear'em--it might make me feel better. I hate air-conditioning, but I think I hate humidity more, so it's a fine dice of discomfort lately and really just hard on morale. Also on getting anything done: I'm working as much as ever, but at much slower rates. To slow down ones running or lifting of heavy objects in the heat seems logical, but since mine are mainly endeavours of the mind (wow, that's a new height of pretension--I'm leaving it in!) it seems odd that the humidity has dragged me down.

It's better tonight, whetherwise, so maybe work will improve also. In the meantime, inspiration!

I discovered The Ting Tings on David Whitton's website and felt an immediate sympathy with the plaint, "That's Not My Name." Besides having a wicked beat, the song perfectly captures my pain: despite my so-called "cool name" (I certainly think so), I am frequently called "Jane." Also, "Rachel." Also, very often, "you" and yesterday, "whatsyername." This song makes me feel less alone and anonymous, but the other ones I've heard are good too.

Virginia at UofT Alumni endeavours made a beautiful webpage for *Once* on the Great Books by Great Grads site. You can't see it unless you are an alum, unfortunately, but if you are one, I urge you to check out the full roster--who knew there were so many published past students?

Finally, a dead-sexy website showcasing a designer's talents--that works. Even if you don't need a website or letterhead designed, you should look at Create Me This for sterling examples in the form.

Ok. I'm gonna go accomplish stuff now. Really. Yeah.

Maybe Julisa / always the same / that's not my name
RR

Rebecca Has a Bad Week

RR--I'm such a loser, I think I've called you every day this week.

Mom--That's not true. I haven't heard from you in ages. I've missed you.

RR--I called you on Sunday, and another day besides today...

Mom--So?

RR--And today is Thursday.

Mom--That leaves lots of days you didn't call...well, several.


This weekend will be better, not least because I'm going to see my Mom (and Dad), because Kerry was wearing a spring skirt yesterday, because I am booked solid with frivolous things to do. So in case I don't get a change to post before then, I just wanted to say that my brothers-and-sisters in educational trajectory, the masters in creative writing crew '08, will be reading on Monday evening, and they are charming and I'll be there and maybe you'd like to come, too?

Deets:

Monday, April 28
Bar Italia (582 College Street, between Manning and Clinton)
7:30pm
No cover

See you soon!


Don't worry girl you weren't around
RR