Rose-coloured Reviews *The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy* by Douglas Adams

I am rereading my old Hitchhikers' omnibus partly in response to Rosalynn and Catherine's dialogue on rereading. I used to reread like crazy--there are books on this earth that I have read close to 20 times--but as I age, more and more I feel the cold hand of mortality on my shoulder as I read, and I fear I won't get to read all the books I want even once in my life, and this stops me from doing much rereading.

Thus, a lot of books are frozen in my mind the way I read them and thought about them when I was a whippersnapper--I say something's "brilliant" but don't take into account that my 15-year-old mind may have been easier to impress than it is now.

I loved the Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy series with all my tiny geeky heart when I was a teenager. So when I found out that, after Adams's death, some totally other person was writing a sixth book in the series, I was incensed. I could say, "Those books are perfect, Adams was unique, and this is a terrible idea." But I hadn't read those books in at least a decade, so what did I know?

So the other reason for rereading is to have some context by the time Eoin Colfer's book, titled *And Another Thing*, comes out in paperback. I want to read it, certainly, and give it a fair shake--not wrapped up in nostalgia.

I first came upon these books because I picked up the fourth title in the series (it was originally a trilogy that overspilled its limits). I read it because it was called So Long and Thanks for All the Fish and in those days I picked up any book with a funny title and read almost everything I picked up. (Other hits from that period include Elvis Jesus Coca Cola, Lady Slings the Booze, and The Paper Grail).

Of all those "funny title" reads, I loved *Fish* the most, and so went back to the beginning and read the whole series, and then the scripts for the radio show on which it was based (those made little sense to me; too much British humour, perhaps?), all the other books Adams wrote. And I watched the old film based on the book/show (the new one makes a lot more sense, by the way) and tried to get the old BBC tv show based on same, though I think by that point even my adolescent geek enthusiasm tapped out.

So it was in at least one sense very very nice to go back once more and read the old omnibus introduction, which endeavours to set the record "firmly crooked" in explaining the books' path to creation. I probably could have read it more objectively if parts of the intro hadn't been my grade 11 drama monologue, which I had (and apparently still have) memorized.

Then into the story--you know that story. Arthur Dent being sleepy and baffled, Ford Prefect being suave and fatalistic, saving Arthur while the rest of the earth is destroyed by a race called Vogons from a distant plant because they are creating a hyperspace expressway.

And their adventures therewith: cruising the galaxy, they run into Ford's semi-cousin, Zaphod Beeblebrox, erstwhile president of the galaxy, and the pretty lil thing he picked up on earth, Tricia McMillan (whose name he has condensed, naturally, to Trillian). And their impossibly weird spaceship, the Heart of Gold, and Marvin the Paranoid Android, their robot. And the contented doors, and...oh, it's all so funny and silly and great.

I love all these characters so much that the nostalgia followed me into the present reading--it took me a while to start reading like my 31-year-old self. The first clue that I could be critical was when I noticed that Ford Prefect's name was explained twice (he's an alien seeking to blend in on earth, and chose a name that seemed to him common among dominant lifeform, but turned out to be the name of a British subcompact car). A little editorial drop that has survived 20 years of re-issues...or maybe Adams worried readers wouldn't catch the joke.

Whatevs. Adams is *such* an imaginative thinker that it's totally natural, no matter what your age, to fall under his spell. The flights of fancy are thrilling, like a ship that runs on an Infinite Improbability drive: in can do anything, provided it is told exactly how improbable that thing is. The book, *The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy* exists in this fictional world to calm and instruct the characters, but it is also a pretty top-heavy expositional device. Every time Adams wants to insert some new crazy planet/lifeform/foodstuff he just makes up, he has one of the characters read about it in the guide and the narrative reproduces the whole page of info. It's really funny, so one is often distracted from the fact that that's bit sloppy storytelling, doncha think?

Although this is a book by, for, and about adults, there is a ring of adolescent idyllicness and naivete here that I don't think I am importing. Everyone is always moments away from death, but no one (besides a sperm whale) dies onstage. Of course, all of earth and its inhabitants are destroyed, but this is treated as a rather larky bad moment rather than a soul-destroying tragedy for the two remaining Earthlings.

People occasionally make fun of me for taking *So Long...* as my favourite Hitchhikers' book. They dismiss it as the "romantic one", but the fact is it is the only book in the series in which man-woman relationships make even a touch of sense (this is not a critique, but just a note: everyone in this version of the galaxy appears to be heterosexual). In this first book (the one that I am ostensibly reviewing here, in case you forgot), Trillian is the woman who travels around with Zaphod and "tells him what she thinks of him." The relationship is left at that, but she did leave her home planet to be with him. I wonder if they're snogging?

But I am being pennyante--this isn't photorealist stuff, it's semi-satire. Not satire of science-fiction but using the form of sci-fi to satirize real-life (I think). It's sharp and believeable, within it's own parameters, with a few (not all) well-drawn characters. The only other complaint I could possibly level against the book is that because this first book was based on several in a series of radio plays, it doesn't quite have the structure of a self-contained book. The five books perhaps somewhat have a single structure, but not quite that either--they basically all blur into one hilarious episodic adventure.

I've already started reading the second book in the series, *The Restaurant at the End of the Universe* (always with the good titles, Adams--my favourite books of his are actually the Dirk Gently books: *Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency* and *The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul* [possible the best title in the history of books]). I'm finding as I try to write this review, I'm finding that bits of *Restaurant* are getting mixed up with the first book in my mind and I've got to be careful to reference the right book.

For example, I wanted to tell you that possible my favourite conversation-quashing line was in this book, but it's actually in *Restaurant*--I'll share it anway:

"Don't try to outweird me, three-eyes. I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."

Nuff said.
RR

Peevish

When I graduated from highschool, we were supposed to write "obits"--little responses to abbreviated questions to squish beside our grad pictures in the yearbook and apparently sum up our personalities and lives in high school and after. The queries were PP: pet peeve, AM: ambition, PD: probable destination and K4: known for. Here's mine (if I were braver I'd scan in the picture; I'm not):

AM: to have one, to be a licensed driver, to blowdry, to reincarnate my fetal pig, to name that smell, to get the fish joke
PD: the bus 4ever, sleeping thru the apocalypse, K.N.'s floor, crushing my rage into a tiny ball
K4: too much hair, "I don't get it...oh, yeah, I do."

Though I did get my license (I corrected the spelling error--"liscenced"!! jeez!!) that's pretty much the same as I would write now, especially the last bit. But you'll note--no PP! At the time, I thought there were no peeves I wished to be remembered by (if you think I'm obnoxiously rose-coloured now, you should've seen high school, especially at intramural badminton!)

So things have changed, as I do have a few peeves now. And as KateN's dissection of a pet peeve has inspired me, here's some headliners from recent peevishness:

--the tap of a fork-tine against tooth enamel
--the rainbow-coloured spinning wheel Macs replace the cursor with when something's not responding
--when people say "How are you?" as an alternative to "hello," without waiting for an answer.
--Cyclists on the sidewalk! oh, my most hated ever, cause it's dangerous and not just annoying!! Like, I get that that many drivers in Toronto are horrible to cyclists, but taking a bike onto the sidewalk is like someone who is pushed around at work coming home and taking it out on their family--sidewalk abuse!! I got clipped by a bike-rearview mirror recently and was so very unimpressed.

Ahem. So, yeah, I get a little more tetchy as I age, I suppose. But I really would love it still if someone would explain the fish joke to me.

I was waitin' for the hot flashes to come
RR

Addendum

Reviewing is tough! Such is the restrictive nature of the form that yesterday's review did not even include what I felt was the best bit of my film-going experience: what happened in the women's bathroom after the show.

It was very crowded and noisy with the post-*Get Smart*, post-theatre-size soda crowd. Above the hubbub, though, I could hear teenaged voices yelling,
"Mira, are you here?"
"Yeah, I'm at the sinks!"
"Are you here?"
"I'm here."
"If you're here, I'm gonna come out."
"Come out!"
"I'm gonna come out."
If you are not a frequenter of women's bathrooms in multiplexes, I should point that this is not abnormal aural wallpaper--I barely registered it. I did happen to notice the reunion of Mira with her companion exiting her stall--they turned out, unsurprisingly, to be pretty 17ish girls in shorts and elaborate ponytails. More surprisingly, their greeting to each other was not exchange of whispers and lipgloss, but whispers followed by shrieking and bouncing up and down in a tight embrace.

By this point I was registering the interaction rather accutely, and possibly doing a rather over-thorough job of washing my hands. As I turned, dripping, in search of hand towels, the girls approached me through the crowd (possibly because I was staring at them like a movie screen) and asked me for a tampon, which I gave them. I really feel I gave it to them both, they were such an intimate unit, though I'm sure they weren't going share.

I don't know, I was a little pleased to be involved in such a happy ending to a drama I'll never really know, though I can sort of guess. I don't really need more information, I don't think. How much do I adore fluffy goofy teenagers? And how much do I want them not to be pregnant? *So much, both!*

Don't wanna end up a cartoon in a cartoon graveyard
RR

Juvenalia

We're running a week behind at Rose-coloured, because I still haven't told you about the least-exciting part of my Thanksgiving weekend: looking through my writings from years past and chucking out most of it, I don't need every piece of creativity-oriented paper I've ever had, and storing it there is crowding my parents' ever-expanding wardrobes. So I spent all the lulls of the weekend (and there are many in LTH) sorting juvenalia, and yes, I called it that, to anyone who would listen, a la Adrian Mole ("Well, it's a good thing I lost at Scrabble by 200 points in 45 minutes--I have to get on sorting my juvenalia!")

I only looked at high school, skipping those ever-portenous grade-school diaries, and in fact all diaries, since I was undisciplined back then (and now?) and only wrote in diaries when I was sad, so I know those books would be litanies of complaints with five-month silences. I also didn't look at university days, when I think I might have actually written some good stuff. One thing at a time (yes, I am calling university juvenalia--I mean, who would I be kidding?)

Anyways, reading over the high school stuff, I did not find many of the diamonds in the rough that I had been hoping for--some of it sounded, well, like it was written by a teenager. Depressing, but not really surprising. I've never been an early bloomer (despite the name). What was gratifying was to find that there was so much work--apparently I wrote constantly as a kid, which I totally don't remember doing. This too makes sense, though: see above-mentioned lulls in LTH.

So after I winnowed out Kiwanis drama festival assessments ("that busines with Becky and the chair doesn't help at all"), every note my lab partners ever sent me ("M. is now wearing her purse *all the time*, in case she has to flee the building or something. It's a new level of annoyingness. What's the thesis of your English essay?") I have a big stack of stories to read in more detail at my leisure (plus all the grade school/uni stuff still to sort...Christmas?)

What I've gone through so far is fascinating, because it proves that, in rudimentary ways, I was *always* obsessed with the same stuff. I've found stories from the late nineties that seem to be very loose, very bad first drafts of things I've written this year, except I *don't remember writing* those earlier stories, and thought I was making everything up fresh. I dunno, do you find that creepy? It's like I'm stealing from my younger self.) On the up-side even the not-good bulk of it shows what style I was, and still am, aiming for. I can't find much that I feel super proud of, but for the sake of full disclosure, this, an excerpt from "In the Time of the Radio Gods," my OAC Writer's Craft project. Oh, remember OACs? Those were the *days*!

"Trying to stop thinking, that afternoon Tyler went to the beach. The water was too cool yet for swimming, and too polluted anyway. Still, he liked being able to sit in the sand in his shorts and t-shirt, read the paper and listen to his radio play staticky Beatles. He needed a tan.

"Noel sat down suddenly in the sand on his right and hugged him warmly, just as he always had. Without thinking, Tyler kissed his brother lightly on the cheek. His face did not feel waxy or icy. It was warm, toasted by the sun that would turn it burnt-blush red."

Noel is, of course, dead--it seems like everything I wrote that year was a ghost story, a pattern I certainly didn't notice at the time. It's a good thing I save these things, so that my mature self can ferret out what was really going on. I'm actually already starting to regret I didn't keep those chem notes.

Oh the boys /on the radio / they crash and burn
RR