Reasons While I'll Never Get Anywhere in Life

--I frequently smell like bubblegum, and occasionally blow an unconscious bubble while someone is talking to me.
--I wear glitter on my birthday so that people will ask me, "Why are you wearing glitter?" so I can tell them "Because it's my birthday!" and then they will wish me a happy birthday.
--I can't clap on the beat.
-- I don't absorb news in any way, so I didn't know anything about the economy being in decline or the looming TTC strike until today.
--Sometimes, I feel like wearing a fedora, and then I wear a fedora.
--I am addicted to aspertame, which is apparently embalming me from the inside while I still live.
--I can't pronounce the word "origin".
--I make lists of my flaws instead of dwelling on the positive.
--It doesn't really bother me to wait.
--When someone walking past me asks how I'm doing, I stop and answer.
--I can't climb a rope, whistle, shuffle cards, ice-skate, name all 50 states, intimidate anyone, bench-press more than 40 pounds, or find my flashlight, but I can fit my entire hand in my mouth.

Also, due to the newly looming (newly discovered to be looming?) TTC strike, I am now literally not going anywhere, starting Monday. Maybe I'll be in a better mood by then!

You might be messin round
RR